Harry Potter Goes Gangsta
by India Weasley Took
Summary: -FINISHED-What would happen if Harry Potter was a gangsta novel. Oh god. This should be good.
1. Gangsta

What would happen if Harry Potter was a gangsta novel  
India Kieser  
  
(Ron walks in a baggy pants and a New York Yankees hat backwards. He also has on a quidditch jersey. Harry is already there in big bulky pants and a quidditch jersey. Hermione is wearing a skirt and a Lady Enyce shirt.)  
  
Ron: Yo yo yo, H Po, y'all wanna go buy sum bling bling in Diagon Alley homee?  
  
Harry: Fershizzle Ron Dawg. I gotta get me cheeba too.  
  
Ron: Daaaaaaamn.....you so fuckin gangsta.  
  
Harry: Fo sho nah shih deez people try ta phaze me man. It aint rite man.  
  
Ron: Fo sho Harry, I mean, u ma main man. Ma dawg.  
  
Hermione: An me foo?  
  
Ron: Why u be nuttin but a ho beeatch!  
  
Hermione: If I be a ho, then u be a crackaz fo shizzle.  
  
Harry: Don't be hatin be APPRECIATIN man! Y'all be fightin!  
  
Hermione: whateva......hey peeps can I come?  
  
Ron: whateva.....maybe we can get back to ma hood after.  
  
Harry: the "common room" lyke those stuck up preps call it  
  
Hermione: fo sho  
  
Ron: fo shizzle  
  
Harry: listen I gotta axe yall sumtin  
  
Hermione: what be that?  
  
Ron: spit it homey g  
  
Harry: ya'll think that v dawg......  
  
Hermione: h po ya'll mean voldermort?  
  
Harry: yeah yeah that crap fo sho. But anyway, ya'll think voldemort gunna come and get me?  
  
Ron: I wunt let him. Ill bust a cap in his ayass befo he touch u homee.  
  
Hermione: FO SHIZZLE  
  
Harry: Man home slice u da best  
  
Ron: dats what im here fo man.  
  
Harry: alrite lets go get some ice fo ma neck man  
  
Ron: yeah lets blow this  
  
(Ron flips backwards off the stairs and lands on his feet)  
  
Hermione: OH SNAAAAAAP BOY. Daaaaaamn  
  
Harry: dats nice homey. Dats smoooove  
  
Ron: no duh watchou on boy? crack? Cheeba?  
  
Harry: I told ya beeatch I gotta get some cheeba today  
  
Hermione: I needa buy sumthin to ice da grill man  
  
Harry: dats coo. Dats coo.  
  
Ron: whacht we waitin fo homeys?  
  
Harry: nuthin (Harry trips on the couch when turning around)  
  
Ron: you krazy ass fugga! U high man. U really high.  
  
Hermione: hiiiiiigh man  
  
Harry: shut yo mouth bitch befo I slap you!  
  
Ron: lets go man  
  
(They all leave, Ron and Harry's pants sagging so they walk like penguins. Hermione twists her hips back and forth) 


	2. Translation and Author's Notes

What would happen if Harry Potter was a gangsta novel  
The Translation  
India Kieser  
  
AUTHORS NOTE: This piece had no intention whatsoever to being "well written" or a "masterpiece". It was just something stupid that my friend and I thought off while walking. I really just wanted to make people laugh. But here's the translation as requested by a reviewer (if one does THAT imagine was six would do!)  
  
Ron: Hello Harry! Do you want to go buy some stuff in Diagon alley?  
  
Harry: Sure Ron! I need to get some marijuana too.  
  
Ron: Goodness Harry you don't really smoke that do you???  
  
Harry: Of course I do! People shouldn't just label me as "good". I have my differences!  
  
Ron: Of course Harry. I'm sorry. I mean, you're my best friend.  
  
Hermione: And what about me?  
  
Ron: Why you're nothing but a whore!  
  
Hermione: If I'm a whore, then Harry's Voldemort.  
  
Harry: Hey you guys don't fight!  
  
Hermione: Sorry.....so can I come?  
  
Ron: Sure.........maybe we can come back here after.  
  
Harry: cool. Sure.  
  
Hermione: Yeah.  
  
Ron: Great!  
  
Harry: I have to ask you guys something.  
  
Hermione: What is it?  
  
Ron: Out with it Harry!  
  
Harry: Do you think that Voldemort.....  
  
Hermione: GASP Harry!  
  
Harry: sorry, sorry! Do you think he'll come for me again?  
  
Ron: I won't let him touch you!  
  
Hermione: Me neither!  
  
Harry: Thanks you guys! You're the best!  
  
Ron: That's what I'm here for Harry.  
  
Harry: Ok, well, lets be going!  
  
Ron: yeah lets get out of here.  
  
(Ron flips backwards off the stairs and lands on his feet)  
  
Hermione: WOW RON THAT WAS COOL!  
  
Harry: Yeah that was awesome!  
  
Ron: Of course it was! (joking) What you on? Crack? Marijuana?  
  
Harry: I told you I was going to get some marijuana today!  
  
Hermione: I need toothpaste.  
  
Harry: Ok ok.  
  
Ron: Well what are we waiting for?  
  
Harry: Nothing! (Harry trips on the couch when turning around)  
  
Ron: God Harry, you crazy ass fer! You're really high!  
  
Hermione: Yeah. Really.  
  
Harry: Oh shut up!  
  
Ron: Well lets go  
  
AUTHORS NOTE: There you have it. It funny how some things translate. Like when Hermione said in the first one "In need to buy sumthin to ice da grill." It meant: "I need to buy toothpaste." 


End file.
